Added: Kianna Kerby - Date: 22.01.2022 10:19 - Views: 36728 - Clicks: 2267
The irony is that no husband or wife marries with the intention of being isolated from their spouse. Most people believe that marriage is the cure for loneliness, but I want to warn you: You began battling the dreaded foe of isolation as soon as you drove off on your honeymoon. Isolation has reached epidemic proportions in the most intimate of human relationships.
Isolation not only le to divorce, but it also saps the strength from millions of marriages that still appear intact. Barbara and I feel its dividing tug in our relationship when we have disagreements and misunderstandings. Our busyness repeatedly invites its presence into our marriage. Like a terminal virus, isolation invades your marriage silently, slowly, and painlessly at first. By the time you become aware of its insidious effects, it can be too late. Your marriage can be disabled by boredom and apathy, and even die from emotional malnutrition and neglect.
When isolation infects a marriage, a husband and a wife exclude each other. You can share a bed, eat at the Are you married but lonely dinner table, watch the same TV, share the same checkingand parent the same children—and still be alone. Live together without sharing life. Because of the alarming of couples in good marriages who are unaware of this problem, I must state forcefully a sobering truth: Every marriage will naturally move toward a state of isolation.
Unless you lovingly, energetically nurture and maintain intimacy in your marriage, you will drift apart from your spouse.
The soul was not created to live solo. The tragedy is that few couples achieve it. Barbara and I have seen this death of hope occur in the marriage of some friends. In many ways their story is typical of many others. This couple enjoyed dating and were married in their early twenties. After a brief honeymoon, they packed up their belongings and moved to a new city. On the two-day drive to their new home, they began to notice their differences.
She felt alone and apprehensive about their new life together; he felt puzzled that their conversation had dried up so quickly. Isolation had already begun. She took a demanding job, and he was promoted in his. Busyness and fatigue set in as they moved into the stream of everyday life.
Instead of having companionship, they felt alone. She felt undiscovered, unknown. He felt uncared for. Initially, the birth of their first child seemed to bring them back together. Later, when she returned to her job, she adjusted her hours to maximize her time with the baby. Life became focused on the. Their marriage wore down under the draining influence of isolation. She would bring up a problem. Because their frequent spats became increasingly painful, each retreated and learned to feel safe that way.
Although they seldom missed church, and no one who knew them would have guessed it, isolation had firmly entrenched itself in their marriage. But at the weekend they recognized they had a problem. They realized they needed to take steps toward oneness as a couple by biblically resolving conflict, listening to each other, and making God the Builder of their home.
As it happened with this young couple, isolation starts when husband and wife slowly drift apart in ways they may not recognize at first. s include the following:. Couples will present a happy facade, keeping house and playing at marriage while real needs go unmet. Unmet needs indicate the presence of isolation in a marriage, and slipping into a state of isolation may seem to offer protection and self-preservation. Although silence feels like a security blanket, it is perilously deceptive.
Many marriages continue for years in a state of armed truce. Competition replaces cooperation, and ugly reality dashes the dreams of hope as conflict unravels the fabric of love and concern. Broken hearts stain pillows with bitter tears. Every day, each partner makes choices that result in oneness or in isolation.
May I recommend three important choices you need to make? Choice 1 : Resolve to pursue oneness with each other, and repent of any isolation that already exists in your marriage. Choice 2 : Resolve never to go to bed angry with each other.
Find a way to resolve your differences and move toward oneness. Resentment and oneness cannot coexist. Choice 3 : Resolve to take time to share intimately with each other. Allow your spouse into your life. Ask questions of your spouse, and listen patiently.
Learn the art of healthy, transparent communication. Swallow your pride. Get help. Call a mentoring couple, your pastor, or a counselor. We were not meant to be alone in the most intimate human relationship God created. Choose today to move toward warmth in each other and away from the chill of isolation.
Published by Thomas Nelson Publishers. Copyright by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Most people believe marriage is the cure for loneliness, but you actually began battling the dreaded foe of isolation when you drove off on your honeymoon. Practical help for your family just got easier to find.
Commitment Dennis Rainey. Find a Marriage Weekend Near You! Find Your Getaway. Related Content. Commitment min read. When a husband and wife spend time together, their children benefit. Grow with your family. Help other families grow. What if means your family gets stronger? This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.Are you married but lonely
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